Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
If you're considering family mediation or are already in the process of separating, divorcing, or making arrangements for your children, you likely have questions. This section answers the most common concerns people have about how mediation works, what to expect, and how to prepare.
What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a voluntary process that helps separating or divorcing couples (and sometimes other family members) reach agreements on issues like finances, property, or arrangements for children with the help of a trained, impartial mediator.
Do I have to go to mediation before going to court?
In most cases, yes. You usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before applying to the family court, unless you're exempt (e.g., in cases of domestic abuse).
Is mediation legally binding?
Agreements made in mediation are not automatically legally binding, but they can be made legally binding through a solicitor or court order if needed.
General Questions
The Mediation Process
What happens in a mediation session?
The mediator helps both parties communicate and explore options for resolving their issues. Sessions are confidential and focused on reaching mutual agreement.
How many sessions will we need?
It depends on the complexity of the issues. Some families resolve matters in one or two sessions; others need more.
Can we be in separate rooms?
Yes. This is called shuttle mediation, and it’s an option if you're not comfortable being in the same room.
Children and Parenting
Can children be involved in mediation?
Yes, in some cases, Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) can be arranged. A specially trained mediator speaks with the child and brings their views into the process (with their consent).
What kind of child arrangements can be discussed?
You can discuss where the children live, when they see each parent, holiday schedules, schooling, and communication methods.
Can we change child arrangements later if needed?
Yes. Mediation can be used at any time to revisit or revise arrangements as your children grow and circumstances change. It's often quicker and less stressful than returning to court, and it helps parents stay focused on what works best for the child.
What if we reach an agreement?
The mediator will write a summary of the agreement (called a Memorandum of Understanding). You can take this to a solicitor to make it legally binding if needed.
What if mediation doesn’t work?
If you can’t reach agreement, the mediator can sign a court form (FM1) to show that mediation was attempted, allowing you to apply to court.
Do I need a solicitor after mediation?
While it’s not required, many people choose to consult a solicitor after mediation—especially to make the agreement legally binding or get advice on legal rights. A solicitor can draft a consent order based on your agreement, which can then be submitted to the court for approval.
What if there is domestic abuse?
Mediation may not be suitable where there is ongoing abuse or safety concerns. However, it can still be considered in some cases if it is safe to do so. The mediator will assess this carefully during the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). If both parties agree and it is deemed appropriate, options such as shuttle mediation (where you are in separate rooms) or online mediation can be used to help ensure a safe and controlled environment.
Can we do mediation online?
Yes. Many mediators now offer sessions via secure video call. Online mediation has become a popular and convenient option, especially for those with mobility issues, childcare responsibilities, or safety concerns. It can also save time and reduce stress by allowing people to participate from home or a comfortable, private setting.
Will what I say in mediation be kept private?
Yes. Mediation is a confidential process, which means that what you discuss cannot usually be shared outside the sessions or used in court (with a few exceptions, such as where someone is at risk of harm). This confidentiality helps create a safe space for open and honest conversations, without fear of being judged or having your words used against you later.